Great Architect of The Universe Cancels Freemasonry
The Great Architect of the Universe shocked the world yesterday
by announcing that effective immediately all of Freemasonry
and the so-called appendant bodies were canceled. Speaking
from His Great White Throne inside that House Not Made With
Hands, He explained,"Look, they have had over 6000 years
to get it right and they still
don't have a clue. I gave them a simple system with everyday
symbols
that even an idiot could figure out and they've made it all
complicated. Who needs 33 or more Degrees when it's all there
in the first Three!"
"Masonry is really pretty easy to do right when you think
about it,
Trust Me, love each other, help those in need and be a good person.
But do you think that they can stick to that?" the Eternal
Father
queried. "Heck no! They had to muck it up with endless
passwords and hand shakes that even I have a hard time keeping
straight! And what really burns Me is the one simple Word that
I gave them, They LOST it!"
"Besides," He further explained, "they are
dying out faster than new
ones can replace them. And most of the ones coming in these
days are more interested in free Spaghetti dinners or marching
down the street dressed like an Arab in drag. But try and get
one of them to come to a Lodge meeting to do a little Speculative
Masonry and you will hear a million and one excuses. Or learn
a Lecture, forget it!"
When asked if He had any plans to replace it with something
else, The Great Architect paused for a moment and said, "I
have been considering two options. Either NASCAR or Synchronized
Swimming."
"I still love to watch a good circumambulation and even
though it is
done with cars, you can't beat NASCAR for going around in
circles. And have you seen the crowds they draw? Freemasonry
could never fill a stadium like that!"
When asked how Synchronized Swimming made it to the final
two being considered, He replied, "It's just so darned
pretty to watch, don't you think?"
Reporter, WB George Steberl III P.M.
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